The Blink of an Eye
by Terra Fire
Summary: Gojyo finds Sanzo playing a dangerous game one night, but does nothing to stop him. A game to determine one’s sanity…


Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, or any of the characters.

**- **

**The Blink of an Eye**

Just another silent night at just another dessert inn. Not a star in the sky as the moon reflects off the sand for miles

Gojyo decides to smoke a cigarette in the cool air as opposed to the still humid air inside. However, before he lights his lighter, he hears another clicking sound, thinking that Sanzo had also thought the same about the humidity and went outside to have a smoke. Though, there was no light from Sanzo's lighter. Letting his eyes adjust to the moonlight, Gojyo sees Sanzo sitting in a bench next to him, holding something to his temple, and it wasn't a lighter.

"Holy shit man!" Gojyo yells and grabs Sanzo's wrist. Pale lavender meets light red as they blink at each other.

"What are you going to do about it?" he hears Sanzo's calm voice, and takes his hand away from Sanzo's wrist.

"Nothing, not my responsibility," Gojyo says and lights his cigarette. With out another word, Sanzo spins the chamber, and puts the gun to his head. Gojyo hears another click as he exhales.

"What the hell are you doing anyway?" Gojyo is now looking at the landscape. Sanzo spins the chamber again, but this time he doesn't put it to his head. From the corner of his eye, Gojyo sees Sanzo staring at the gun.

"Ever hear of the game 'Russian roulette'?" Sanzo says quietly.

"A 'game' where you blow your brains out," Gojyo spits out.

"It's a game of chance, really," Sanzo continues as if not hearing Gojyo. "There's a one out of six chance of the bullet actually hitting its target. Though, most people don't consider it a game."

"Yea, I wonder why. Sane people call it suicide," Gojyo comments.

"Those sorry basterds would never understand." Sanzo sighs. "Even those fools who do it for money and entertainment would understand the feeling of holding your life in your hands."

"What about the one chance?" Gojyo flicks his cigarette and watches the smoke curl in the moonlight.

"A blink of an eye is all it takes." Gojyo isn't quite sure if Sanzo remembers that he's still talking to Gojyo. "Ones your eyes close in that split second, you wonder if you're ever going to open them again. Then you hear the empty chamber, and are disappointed. You're all prepared for death and it doesn't come. You just don't get what you want in the end," Sanzo sighs again, and Gojyo can almost taste the bitterness in his voice.

"_In the end_, there's still that one in six chance of killing your self." Gojyo now turns his entire body to look down on Sanzo, but the blond is still looking at the gun in his hands.

"Though, there's still that one chance of getting what I want, so I think I'll take my chances." Gojyo is sure that Sanzo can't hear him as he spins the chamber once again and points the gun to his head. Gojyo just stares as Sanzo cocks the gun. Before he pulls the trigger, Sanzo turns for the second time to look directly at Gojyo.

As Gojyo reaches out to grab Sanzo's wrist again, there is a loud, unmistakable sound of a bullet hitting its mark. Gojyo watches in horror as Sanzo's bleeding head falls back and his hand falls limp with the gun hitting the floor.

Gojyo can already feel the tears coming as he still holds onto Sanzo's wrist. He closes he eyes as he thinks of life without Sanzo, of Goku with out Sanzo.

Goku…

Gojyo suddenly opens his eyes, expecting Hakkai and Goku already there. However, when he does, he sees pale lavender staring at him.

"_What are you going to do about it_?"

Gojyo smiles as the tears continue to flow freely.

_A blink of an eye is all it takes. _

-End-

Author's Note:

Short, but that's ok. Now, I'll let you take to ending as you wish. I couldn't let this story have a happy ending or a tragic ending. So I went either/or. There is a moral to this story, it's just that I still can't find it. I know that the ending is a bit confusing, but just take it as it is.

So, after months of not writing anything, this is what I come up with one night. I wasn't really going to post this because I wasn't (and still not) in a right frame of mind when I wrote this. This story was really for my own sake, but then I heard the Fray's new song _How to Save a Life_ and I had to post this.

Well, anyway, review and let me know if you think that I'm crazy and if you like the story or not. Also, tell me if I made some kind of mistake.

_VGT_


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